If you were in "care", like I was many years ago, you might recognize a slew of disadvantages that we were left with after the system extracted all the paycheques it could from us, then dumped us on the steps of a shelter.
For example; life skills. Maybe we were taught how to fold our shirts in a perfect square like Marie Kondo, but we had no idea how to balance a budget, have healthy interactions with friends or manoeuvre around "normal people" and professional elements.
Or, we were exposed to eager criminal networks, awaiting us outsiders with open arms and likely ended up in jail ourselves. We likely didn't have the benefit of knowing neighbours who might recommend us for jobs in the government when we became adults.
We may have had ultra messy boundaries with housemates and staff who were only a few years older than us, fresh out of school and had no respect for us- we were treated accordingly.
So what are the advantages we may have taken with us on our way out of the group home-crime-jail pipeline?
My childhood and youth was essentially trashed and thrown in the dumpster, or so I thought.
It took me many years to wake up to my "specialized skills".
The skills that include unmatched adaptability. What can possibly happen that I could deal with less efficiently, than being scooped out of my bedroom by police at the crack of dawn, being apprehended and placed in holding cells at the police station, after attempting to report being sexually assaulted as a child?
How many others without our shared group home experience can and will fight to the last breath with bureaucrats to secure documentation that tells us what happened to our lives? My number one rule became: "DOCUMENT EVERYTHING" Now, I come prepared and informed to each and every meeting I arrive at, in addition to standing beside others to fight for their own right to paperwork on their personal lives, hard won paperwork every single time.
Yes, we can adapt to anything. We can adjust our state of mind into separating emotional existence from immediate circumstances. This makes for a real objective analysis of everything. What Board of Directors or profession at large wouldn't bend over backwards to have one of us work with them on decisions that have major weight?
When I was running from consequences, I learned that eventually they always catch up to me.
Makes for a whole lot of accountability, delayed as it was.
The road-map that led me from the Group Home to the Board Room did not include any directions, yours probably didn't either. I can tell you this, your lack of guidance and directions is going to allow you to develop tactical skills, when you want to let it. I still have the map I drew on me at all times, and I think it shouldn't have to be a struggle to learn basic life skills, however handy this systemic neglect becomes in the future.
Systemic neglect isn't my recommended style of professional development, for some of us this is the default coming of age class.
I'm here, with my roadmap and I will help anyone who got the blank map like I did.
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